Been doing a lot of thinking last few days, the death of one of the crew started it. A few days ago our chief Eng. died of a sudden heart attack just outside the medics room. Started me thinking do I really want to continue working on a boat for another 5 to 8 years??? The other part is the boat and crew itself, I do not feel comfortable on this boat in many ways, but the one that is getting to me the most is I do not have a single person on the boat I can call a friend or even close to one. Then they is the work, I have no respect of any kind on this boat, it took 3 plus years to get it on the Snapper and I just do not think I can do that shit again.. All I do is rebuild guns all shift, any other job that comes up is given to someone else ( even the one who has been on the boat less time then myself )
Off shift I have no place to go except my room to have time alone, no television or computer available to me except for the computer at the work station. Television is only for watching movies and so far when I go in someone has already started one so ..... I would like to be able to watch the news and see what is going on in the world but that is not possible, we do not have the setup needed. So free time is spent reading until I can sleep and sleeping until it is time to go to work.. I think driving a truck was better then this, wish I could go back to the circus but do not know how...
Will turn 57 on Feb 12th, 2011.... Maybe this is just old age coming to the fore...
1 comment:
I hear you, this getting old stuff sucks. Making choices as you get older gets more and more critical because one can't make any big mistakes and expect to recover from them quickly. The energy and the time isn't there as when we were younger when we could rebuild again and again. What ever you decide I wish you luck.
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